Screw the donah's groinies

It's 1928, and you're a young man from a professional background who has failed at everything. How do you revive your fortune? By telling other people's. A charming book from between the wars 

One day in the early summer of 1928 Philip Allingham, a 21-year-old from a good family, looked out of the window of the room he had rented in an office in London’s Coventry Street, and considered his options. He had failed at school, then failed to get into Oxford; and then, despite being from a family in what we would now call the media, he had failed at every copywriting and publicity job he had tried. He was now freelancing but there was no work, and he was down to his last few shillings. 

He decided, in desperation, to do the one thing he had always been quite good at, though he had never done it in earnest: read palms and tell fortunes. After a trial run in West End pubs (with mixed results), he bought a tent from Gamages for 35/- (£1.75), put on his top hat and tails (the image, don’t you know), and hit the road. Cheapjack, first published in 1934, is his story of his first years on that road.

Not all goes well. At his first pitch two ladies of the night steal his day’s takings. At Southend he has no luck at all, but spies a pleasure cruiser and persuades the crew to let him tell fortunes for the day-trippers at sea. He then becomes the only person on board to be seasick, and vomits over the side while wearing evening dress. But bit by bit he learns his trade, and makes many friends. Cheapjack is a cornucopia of palmists, showmen, Gypsies, conmen, landladies, and general odd characters. There are the travelling boxers. There are the “windbag” workers, who sell people envelopes that might contain a watch, or a cheap trinket, or nothing at all; it is a form of gambling, and of course the odds are loaded. There are the Gypsies, who take a shine to Allingham and prove to be good friends when he is set upon in Newcastle (though he himself, if he is to be believed, could be handy with his fists).

Fairgrounds were raffish places then and no doubt sometimes still are. J.B. Priestley, visiting Nottingham’s famous Goose Fair as part of his English Journey (1934), had a liverish reaction to it, and perhaps he was right (though as the author of The Good Companions, he could perhaps have been more charitable). The ambiguous morality of the showman did not bother Allingham, or perhaps he did not think about it. He does not rush to judgement on the people he met. There are exceptions – for example, a fake “theatrical agent” who trades on dreams and exposes his “clients” to ridicule. In the main, however, Allingham and the other barkers, pitchers and fortune-tellers are simply selling the punters a bit of fun and a dream. Both sides know that and there is no real deception. It’s a point well expressed when Allingham has a confrontation with an unpleasant evangelical preacher on a fairground in the Midlands. “After all,” Allingham tells the crowd, “we both set up as prophets. He tells you what will happen to you after you die, and I tell you what will happen to you in the near future. He advises you, and so do I. ...True, I charge a fee – we all have to live – but I will not be impertinent and inquire into any financial arrangements which our friend may have.” Quite.

Allingham is always entertaining. For a flavour of the book, one may scan the introductory standfirst at the head of each chapter (books still sometimes had these in the 1930s). Thus Chapter 13 is headed:  “I take part in Hull Fair, and meet many strange and interesting people, including Mad Jack, Peter the Whistler, and Madame Sixpence. I am invited to become an orthodox Jew, but decline and leave Hull."

An ad from the Daily Telegraph, June 1934

There is a certain jocularity about these standfirsts, and yet they are quite unselfconscious. And it seems that Allingham himself was. This must have been the key to his success as a palmist and pitcher. It is also the key to the book. Francis Wheen, in his introduction to the new (2010) edition, talks of the young men on the left – including Orwell, Christopher Isherwood and Tom Driberg – who went slumming in the 1930s in an attempt at working-class authenticity. Working people in South Wales and elsewhere suffered a deluge of earnest Fabians anxious to find out what they ate. It was not always well received.  Allingham could not have been more different. He is quite clear with everyone he meets that he is a toff on his uppers, trying to earn a crafty bob. It is clearly true, and he is accepted.

While this is attractive, it does mean this book isn’t a major social document. Allingham didn’t write it for that. Although obviously intelligent, he was not reflective, and had no wish to join the earnest Fabians. He mentions the Depression and the effect it had on business, but does not say much about it; he didn’t need to – his readers were still in the middle of it. The difficult social conditions of the early 1930s do come into focus at one point; Allingham needs a model to demonstrate the hair-wavers he is selling, and finds a certain 14-year-old girl to be very suitable. So he persuades her parents to let her travel with him (it should be remembered that children could then leave school at 14, and often did). His interview with the parents is in the worst kind of slum in the north-east, an area badly hit by the Depression; there are no shoes, no furniture, just bare boards and children. In the main, however, this book isn’t social history.

What it did do, though, is make its mark on the English language. Fairground people, grafters, call them what you will, had an argot of their own. Gypsies especially did, as Romany had only just slipped out of common use as a language, and was still occasionally spoken.  This argot was a mixture of English and Cockney rhyming slang and Yiddish, as well as Romany. Allingham provides a glossary; some of these words (“bevvy” for a drink – Allingham and his friends have quite a few of these; “rozzer” for a policeman) found their way into the language as a result, and the book has been so credited by the Oxford English Dictionary. Allingham finds it is as well to know this argot. One day he is in a train with other palmists, including a Gypsy who is wearing many fine rings on her fingers.  There are several toughs in the compartment, and one tells the others to “Take sights. Screw the donah’s groinies”. “We knew at once,” writes Allingham, “that he had suggested to his friends that they should watch the lady’s rings.” They change compartments at the next station.

The book was a success in 1934, and was widely reviewed. But it was then out of print for many years. Allingham was unable to get it republished postwar. He died in 1969, and although there seems to have been one edition in the 1990s, the book was mostly out of print until 2010. It was then republished by a small company, Golden Duck, owned by Wheen and his partner, Julia Jones. The latter is an expert on the Allingham family and the book was published with the support and encouragement of the Margery Allingham Society (the famous crime novelist was Philip’s older sister, and helped edit the original book). The new edition reproduces the letterpress text of the original, but also includes some splendid contemporary photographs – including a number of Allingham at work, most of which were likely taken as publicity shots for the original 1934 Heinemann edition.

We should thank Jones and Wheen for reprinting this. Cheapjack may not be, or have been meant as, history – yet it is redolent of its era; and it is also great fun. Allingham was no philosopher. But it is clear that he was the most likeable, unhypocritical and generous of men. To travel with him through the fairgrounds and pubs of England and Wales was a pleasure. And should I hear a fellow-passenger mention screwing a donah’s groinies, I shall ask the cabin crew for an upgrade to business class at once.

Tweet

Follow Mike Robbins on Twitter (mikerobbins19), on Facebook or on Goodreads

Mike Robbins’s latest book, Three Seasons: Three Stories of England in the Eighties, is available as an e-book or paperback from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Scribd and other online retailers, and can also be ordered from your local bookshop. Requests for review copies should be sent to thirdrailbooks (at) gmail.com, via NetGalley, or to the author.

Cameron’s next five years: A rubbish prospect - for Cameron?

Thursday’s British election results are a genuine achievement for British Prime Minister David Cameron. Expected to lose, or at best be forced into a coalition, he has instead won a small but workable majority. But he may yet regret it.  Here are my cut-out-and-keep predictions for the next five years. Look at them in 2020 and see if they’ve come true

On April 8 1992, I sat in a friend’s Volkswagen Golf, touring through the streets of London’s Lambeth. We’d chosen it because it had a sunroof; if it was open, you could clip a loudspeaker to its edge, if it wasn’t raining (it wasn’t; it was a delightful spring evening). We toured the estates south of Vauxhall Cross and The Oval, pouring out our message. My friend was driving; as a former traffic broadcaster with a very deep voice, I had the mike. I can’t remember exactly what I was saying. But I do remember cruising down the South Lambeth Road on the way home and emitting some banal remark or other along the lines of “Vote Labour”. As we approached the Stockwell Clock Tower, someone on the pavement yelled back: “Vote Labour, pay later, you arseholes”, or something similar – ah, the language of Shakespeare, Mill and Milton. We pulled into my friend’s street, one of those to the south of Clapham High Street where nice terrace houses were just starting to fetch a fortune. As I walked through his hall with an armful of PA equipment, I noticed his wife was watching that night’s feature film BBC1; Scandal, about the 1963 Profumo affair (about which more in a moment).

I didn’t take an active part in last night’s election, as I’m abroad (though I did vote). But I see striking parallels between last night’s events and those of April 1992.

One is the victory of a Tory leader who was expected to lose by a country mile. In 1992 John Major fought an unexpectedly vigorous campaign and earned my reluctant, but real, respect. He was always far too easy to dismiss. The son of a music-hall performer, he went into banking (someone once called him “the only man ever to run away from the circus to become an accountant”).  In office he was to give an impression of pragmatism and decency at the head of the Tory Party; a genial baboon attempting to save a shrill troupe of hyenas from self-destruction. Cameron isn’t quite the same. He is from a background of privilege, and embodies a sense of entitlement to leadership that Major never claimed for himself, or would have accepted in others. The parallels are strong nonetheless.

However, if I was David Cameron, I’d be wishing to God that I had not won this election. And not just because of the parallels with Major; there is more, much more. Here are six reasons why the next five years will be hell for the Tory party and why Cameron may eventually wish he’d been defeated.

II: Europe

The 1970 Conservative government took Britain into Europe without a referendum, which it had promised not to do. This undermined the project from the start. When Labour finally held one in 1975, British electors (including myself) voted yes to what we thought was a free-trade zone, little more. Since then there have been significant treaty revisions, yet our last chance to vote on the issue was so long ago that most of those who voted are dead. So there is an argument for this referendum. But it will be very dangerous for Britain. For Cameron, the referendum, and Europe in general, may prove lethal.

First, the failure of UKIP in the election means that a major outlet for anti-EU feeling on the Right has been removed. It will now be bottled up in the Tory party again. More than ever now, it will be torn apart by vicious internal arguments over Europe, just as it was under Major. This will lead to defections and backbench rebellions that a man with a small majority can’t afford. As Ken Clarke, one of the Tory party’s biggest Big Beasts, pointed out the  morning after the election, this was a small majority and could be whittled away. “It’s a great victory,” he said, but added: “It is tempting for factions to hold you to ransom. That is what happened to John Major.” 

The decision to hold a vote means it will be even worse for Cameron. There will be fractious, dangerous negotiations with Europe, and the Tory party will then divide on their results, with a large minority arguing that Cameron has brought too little back from Brussels. There will then be a referendum that results in the UK staying in the EU anyway but being far less influential in it than it was before. Its influence is already slipping away; it has taken little part in talks over Ukraine. In fact, this referendum is not so much Britain shooting itself in the foot, as blasting it with a howitzer. It will also seem perverse to our partners. Issues that need pan-European attention over the next five years will include a rising tide of desperate migrants, insecurity on Europe’s Eastern border, and periodic financial instability in the Eurozone. In this context, a  British attempt at renegotiation, and uncertainty over its membership, will be most unhelpful to everyone else. It’s likely they will tell us that, not politely.

III: Scotland

This election has demonstrated that partial federalisation doesn’t work, so Cameron will be the last PM of Britain as it is now; it will be dissolved on his watch, maybe altogether. 

The unexpected Tory majority means the Scottish question isn’t immediate.  In a hung parliament, the SNP would have had an effective veto over legislation that applied to the English and Welsh but not to its own electors (the so-called West Lothian question). This would have angered other British people and would have forced a constitutional response. The SNP won’t have this veto for now, and there are almost no other Scottish MPs; so for the moment, this question has been de-fanged. In fact the SNP members may be a positive presence at Westminster, bringing a fresh view to select and standing committees, and subjecting the government to lively scrutiny.

But if we go on with a Scotland that is partly devolved but still represented at Westminster, the West Lothian question will be back, and it’s not clear how it can be solved. Cameron promised “English votes for English people”; he will be held to this, and will find that he does not really know how to do it.  As long as Scotland stays in the UK, it is entitled to be represented in parliament. How, actually, do you decide what Scots MPs should and shouldn’t vote on, and who has the right to keep them out of the lobbies?  More immediately, the EU referendum in 2017 is not likely to take us out of Europe. But it might – a decision the Scots would not endorse. This could force a very sudden and messy separation.  

Even if this does not happen, Cameron’s government will face the growing desire of all people, including the English, for a clear identity in an era of globalisation. There is no sign that it has the imagination to see this. Yet it will be forced to confront it at some point in its term of office.

IV: A serious scandal

The Elm Guest House allegations have not yet been fully worked through, and there are serious allegations against a very senior former Tory cabinet minister. They have not been proved in court, and his friends strongly refute them.  Nonetheless, some of the rumours concerning both Elm House, and alleged sex parties and even killing connected with Dolphin Square, are very distressing. The smell of past sexual misconduct by senior figures is not going to go away.

For the moment, this is mostly rumour and allegation. But if it proves to be something more, it could undermine an administration already struggling with internal divisions over Europe and devolution. It would be seen by many as proof that Britain is run by a closed and corrupt clique.  

There are echoes of the  Profumo affair, which effectively brought down Tory PM Harold Macmillan in 1963, and helped cause his party’s defeat in the election of the following year.  It’s not quite the same, of course. Profumo had involved serious errors of judgement by a serving minister; the current allegations are historic, and do not involve Cameron’s own government in any way. On the other hand, the Profumo affair did not involve the alleged rape and possibly murder of children and its cover-up by the establishment.

V: The voting system

The Green Party got 400,000 more votes than the Scottish Nationalists on Thursday, but got one seat against the SNP’s 56. Put another way, the SNP got one seat per 26,000 votes, the Conservatives one per 34,500 votes, Labour one per 40,500 seats, the Liberal Democrats one per 295,000 votes, the Greens one seat for 1.1 million votes and UKIP one seat for 3.8 million votes. How can this possibly confer legitimacy upon the elected government?

To be sure, it's hard to say what the results would have been under PR. It depends on the type of PR system used; besides, the existence of such a system would itself change voting behaviour. However, the Mirror did a back-of-a-fag-packet estimate based on Thursday’s results and the outcome was a Tory-UKIP coalition, perhaps with the DUP. So be careful what you wish for.  Still, the current system is unjust, the question won’t go away in the next five years, and there will be great pressure for change.

VI: The excluded

I was in London through the London riots of 1981 and 1985, and was shocked by the riots of 2011. People heave bricks through windows when they feel they have no voice. (Also sometimes because they’re little sods who want new trainers; but they’re opportunists, not the people who start the trouble.)

There have been rumours for some weeks about a new tranche of welfare cuts that would have a direct impact on the poorest. According to the Guardian (May 5 2015), threats include increasing the bedroom tax, ending maternity benefit and even stricter tests for the unemployed sick before they can get benefits.  The latter will be especially controversial, given the number of alleged injustices that already take place. Everyone has heard the “dead man told to find work” stories; in 2013 the Public Accounts Committee reported that  38% - over a third –  of fitness-for-work decisions were being overturned on appeal, which strongly suggests that some of those stories are true.

Some of those hit by new cuts are unlikely to fight back, or at least to riot (carers, the disabled). Others will. The Guardian claims one of the proposals is to deny under-25s incapacity benefit or housing benefit. It’s not hard to imagine a more and more frustrated layer of young people forced to stay with families who no longer want them and cannot support them. This won’t be the proximate cause of disorder – it wasn’t in 2011, or 1985 – but it will pave the way. Prepare for bricks.

VI: A succession crisis?

No-one seems to have thought of this – after 63 years as head of state, the Queen may pass away during this parliament. That isn’t inevitable; she is 89 – her mother made 101. If it does happen, however, she will leave a huge vacuum, a succession crisis and constitutional turmoil.  Prince Charles is not disliked the way he was, and will probably succeed to the throne. But he will be less able to provide national cohesion than his remarkable mother. Moreover the passing of the Queen may show us the extent to which her personal popularity has protected an institution that is no longer as widely accepted as it was.  There will be a bitter, long-suppressed debate on the monarchy, its cost and its role, if any, in modern Britain.

It’s quite a list. Six potential nightmares: Europe, Scotland, historic sex abuse, a dysfunctional voting system, riots, and a sudden challenge to the monarchy. The first two of these are simply not avoidable. The next three probably aren’t, and the sixth is completely unpredictable.  

It would be wrong to say that I welcomed the Tory majority on Friday morning. I did not; it represented a dreadful lack of imagination and courage by the electorate. But maybe, just maybe, it’s Cameron who should regret this victory. After five years he will be left with a divided party, and a weakened and maybe truncated country that has little influence in Europe (or with the US, whose interests increasingly lie elsewhere). Meanwhile, those cheated by the electoral system will turn to forms of politics that lie outside it. Some of them will be negative and destructive. But others will not; watch the Greens. 

The Right did not, in the end, win last Thursday. What really happened was that the Ancien Regime missed its last chance to reform itself from within. The next five years are not going to be fun. What lies ahead is (to misquote W.G. Sebald) the creative history of destruction. What emerges from it will be a new and very different country, rediscovering its pre-imperial identity and finding a place for itself in a complex and changing world. But Cameron will be at best a deflated figure, rather as Major was in 1997. At worst, he will be reviled as a failure on the scale of Chamberlain and Lord North, and his party will be out of office for a generation.

Tweet

Follow Mike Robbins on Twitter (mikerobbins19), on Facebook or on Goodreads

Mike Robbins’s latest book, Three Seasons: Three Stories of England in the Eighties, is available as an e-book or paperback from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Scribd and other online retailers, and can also be ordered from your local bookshop. 

Requests for review copies should be sent to thirdrailbooks (at) gmail.com, via NetGalley, or to the author.

A story of survival in Nazi Europe

It’s 1942, you’re in Nazi-occupied Europe, your marriage to a Reich citizen has broken up and you’re a British woman, alone. What do you do? And how do you explain it to your own security services when the war is over? Julian Gray’s Interrogating Ellie is a true story, well told

I should start by saying that I know the author, and when I was young, I knew Ellie. Julian Gray is a pen-name; this book, although written as a novel, is substantially true. The people in the book are mostly now dead, but their children are not, and he has preferred to respect their privacy.

Ellie, taken in Austria in 1940 (courtesy J. Gray)

Interrogating Ellie is both well-researched and extremely readable. It is the story of Eloise, or Ellie, Picot (not her real name). She was born in St Helier, in the Channel Islands, in 1915. She and her brother were the illegitimate children of a teenage mother, who had been banished to Birmingham by her family. Ellie was brought up by foster-parents, and eventually found a job as a waitress at a local hotel. In the early 1930s she met a fellow hotel-worker, and in 1938, having just had their first child, they migrated to his home town in Austria and moved in with his family. Ellie took Austrian (actually by now Reich) citizenship. Before long, her marriage broke down, and her husband and his family kept her baby daughters.

Eloise Picot was 27, alone, with no means of support, in a country of which she was nominally a national but which was actually at war with her own. But she had two things on her side – she was attractive, and she was not a fool. After some ups and downs, she made for Vienna. For the next five years, through the war and the post-war occupation, she would live on her wits.

Ellie did – after some difficulty – return to Britain (although not to Jersey) in 1948, and in the 1950s she remarried, this time to an Englishman, and settled in the south of England. She had several more children, of which Gray was one. She died in 1973, aged just 58. She was a complex individual, and her life had not been easy. My own memories of her, for what it’s worth, are good; she was capable of great personal warmth, and was always good with me when I was a child. But I was only 15 when she died, and I never got to know her as an

adult. Reading this book, I am very sorry that I did not. I knew virtually nothing of her life in wartime Austria. Gray and his siblings, of course, did know the bare bones of her life-story, and also that they had half-sisters in Austria. But Ellie did not talk about the war, except to blurt out the odd fact. It was a story that might have been forgotten had her eldest British daughter not chanced to be on the website of Britain’s National Archive in 2013. She casually entered Ellie’s name, using her earlier married surname, and found that there was a file.

  

She was taken aback by its contents. It turned out that, in 1947, Ellie had applied to be renaturalised as British. In response to her application, she had been interviewed by the British Field Security Service (FSS) in Klagenfurt, the capital of the British zone of occupation of Austria (she had gone there after the war; Vienna, now largely under Russian occupation, had got too hot for her).

The FSS were an odd bunch, rolling into occupied countries with the British Army and quietly taking care of business. Their story has slipped away and is now little known. Their one member who is remembered is the great travel writer and novelist Norman Lewis, who would go on to highlight the oppression of indigenous people in the Amazon basin, and whose reports would lead to the founding of Survival International. Lewis served in the FSS in Algeria, where he was alarmed by the behaviour of French settlers – an episode he recounted in his autobiography, Jackdaw Cake. Later he served in Italy, an experience which was the basis for his most famous book, Naples ’44. One’s impression from Lewis is that everything was a big mess, and that the FSS were bumbling British amateurs who rather muddled through. It is true that they were not, or not all, professionals, and many were (like Lewis) simply soldiers. However, in recent years allegations have emerged that they tortured suspected Communists in postwar Germany. In Klagenfurt, they must have been wary. At war’s end there had been a determined attempt by Tito’s troops to wrest control of Carinthia, which had a Slovenian minority, from Austria.  This had led to a tense standoff between British and Yugoslav troops in Klagenfurt’s town square.

Moreover postwar Europe was full of people who were anxious to secure visas for somewhere more congenial, and therefore claimed to have behaved honourably under the Nazis. Of course they sometimes lied, and the FSS must have been suspicious. Their report established that Ellie had been conscripted into the Luftwaffe early in the war, despite her protestations that she was British. However, when a report was received from Austria confirming that she was indeed British, she was kicked out and impressed as forced labour in a factory in Graz, where she slept beside slave labourers on a concrete floor. She seemed to have used her femininity to get her out of that, and then went to ground in Vienna. Exactly what she did there was not clear.

In Klagenfurt in 1946 or 1947 (courtesy J. Gray)

The FSS transcripts, however, were damning. Their report (which Ellie likely never saw) suggested that she had had liaisons with both German and Russian soldiers and thus slept her way to survival. An internal Home Office memo stated that: “The interrogation report from Klagenfurt ...FSS  is not very satisfactory and presents the subject as an impulsive and irresponsible person. ...This woman is of bad character and requires her British nationality for convenience sake. I submit that we refuse to grant a renaturalisation certificate.” In November 1947 Attlee’s Home secretary, Chuter Ede, recommended (apparently personally) that she not be renaturalised. However, in a curious and very English compromise, the Home Office stated that her bad character was not sufficient to bar her from being granted a visa.

So what had Ellie been up to in wartime Vienna that so upset the FSS? Using their reports on Ellie (parts of which are still redacted), Gray has pieced together the story of a hand-to-mouth life. Best not to give too much away; suffice to say that Ellie learned how to handle herself, and got through the war, although not without trouble. And although she may have used (but not abused) men, she also had a genuine gift for friendship, if Gray’s account is to be believed.  It is a gripping story, and Gray has written it very well. I found myself on the edge of my seat as I read it, and totally forgot that I was reading a real person’s story; it reads more like a thriller. It helps that Gray’s style is simple and unsensational. This is a tight, clean account.

How much is true? It mostly fits the facts Gray has – from the FSS transcripts, and from his own enquiries in Austria in 2014. However, he has invented or changed some things in order to construct a narrative. Thus he has Ellie in a relationship with one Mayer, an Austrian Wehrmacht officer who is part of the anti-Nazi underground. In fact, Mayer is based on a man called Carl Szokoll, who was real enough, and was in Vienna at the time; but there is no reason to believe they met. (There is also no proof they didn’t.) In real life, Ellie and her Austrian husband had not two but three daughters before they split. A friend who, in the book, is killed in an air raid, a Dutchwoman, was also a real person and in this case Ellie did know her, but in real life she didn’t die that way. Is all this all right?

I think it is. There is little here that could not have happened, and Gray is clear about what he knows, and what he has had to invent (he explains all on the website he has set up for the book). In any case, like all good books, Interrogating Ellie is about more than the story it relates. Eloise Picot wasn’t the first person to move to a foreign country, have children there and then find herself separated from her children after a marriage breakdown. Neither was she the last. In this more global age, it’s probably not uncommon. In her case, the separation was further complicated by the fact that she was, in effect, in an enemy country.

There is a further dimension to this book that makes it oddly contemporary. As Gray has said (on the website, not in the book):  “When I first read the file that delivered the British government’s verdict on my mother’s moral character, it upset me ...But as I say in the book, I realised I had to just try to understand what led up to those judgements. ..I do still wonder, though, about the people who wrote those judgements in the file ...What were their lives like, I wonder?”

It is a fair question. Ellie was one step away from forced labour or a concentration camp. She may have slept with those who could protect her, but there is no evidence that she hurt them, or anyone else. Today, more than ever, one could wonder about the lives of those who grant or withhold the right to remain; and how they would fare were they to seek it.

Tweet

Julian Gray’s website for Interrogating Ellie is here. The book can be purchased as an ebook or paperback on the site or through the usual online and retail channels.

Follow Mike Robbins on Twitter (mikerobbins19), on Facebook or on Goodreads

Mike Robbins’s latest book, Three Seasons: Three Stories of England in the Eighties, is available as an e-book or paperback from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Scribd and other online retailers, and can also be ordered from your local bookshop. 

Requests for review copies should be sent to thirdrailbooks (at) gmail.com, via NetGalley, or to the author.

 

The Ladythrillers

More from the reviewer’s vault. Four highly individual, oddly compulsive thrillers – all by women writers

For some reason one does not really think of women writing violent thrillers. Yet it is hard to see why they wouldn’t.  They have been writing the best detective stories for a very long time (Dorothy Sayers, Agatha Christie and Ngaio Marsh all spring to mind). These call both for good plotsmithing – a prerequisite of the thriller writer, too – and for the ability to get inside the mind of the violent and evil (a skill displayed especially well in Elizabeth Krall’s In Your Sights, reviewed below). Like so much gender stereotyping, this is about preconceptions. But it may also be that women have been less likely to read thrillers, or violent books, for the lack of strong female characters.

The four books I've reviewed below are highly individual in their approach. Krall’s is a psychological thriller with a smart Sydney backdrop. Gloria Piper’s Long Pig is something very different, set in a cult with an appalling secret. But they are equally dark. Chance Maree’s Dark Matter Tiding is a highly unusual and original book with a big dash of science fiction. Finally, T. B. Markinson’s Claudia Must Die is a brisk bit of noir with a cinematic air; I could see it going on the big screen, no problem. Enjoy.

(Disclaimer: The authors kindly supplied ebooks for review. 

The reviews are non-reciprocal.)

In Your Sights

Elizabeth Krall

Elizabeth Krall’s thriller In Your Sights begins conventionally enough. Caroline is an attractive recent widow living alone in a seaside suburb of Sydney. After 18 months of widowhood she’s embarking on an affair with a married colleague, but isn’t sure if she should. One night, confused and worried, she goes out to take pictures in the moonlight, and finds and helps the victim of a particularly sadistic rape. Then she finds that she herself is being stalked by a mysterious photographer who posts his pictures online. Is he the rapist? Will he target her? 

This sounds like the plot of a good solid conventional thriller, but there are a couple of things that lift this book above the average. One is that the Sydney backdrop is done so well. The city feels very vivid; yet it’s done subtly – there’s no sense of the Bridge or the Opera House being in your face. Krall has also got the pacing right; I never felt that things were happening too quickly or too slowly, and the book’s about as long as it needs to be. 

However, what really makes this book work is the psychological portrait of a violent sadist. We actually know who it is a bit more than halfway through (I’d guessed a few pages earlier). From there on, it’s not the point; instead, we are taken right inside the mind of a monster, who feels very real. Krall seems to know (as far as anyone can) how a narcissistic psychopath thinks, and how they see the world. She also understands how plausible, and how intelligent, they can be. She has clearly done her homework, but she also has the good writer’s ability to get inside minds that do not work like her own (or one hopes not, anyway!). Because the reader is made to see how very easily this person can kill, the tension is maintained right to the end. 

As in any book, there are one or two things that could work better. One of the characters has had a career from which a childhood injury would probably have excluded him. One or two minor characters don’t quite come alive. More seriously, Caroline herself didn’t engage my sympathy enough. I didn’t want to condemn her for having an affair with a married man – you’re shown how it happened, and anyway, this was a woman who had been recently widowed without warning, at quite a young age. Yet she seemed somehow insipid and lacking in character. She did improve as the book went on, there were other good guys to root for and in any case, not every reader needs to identify with the protagonist; it’s a personal thing. It’s also worth saying that some scenes are quite hard to deal with, as the villain is a very serious sadist. Anyone who is easily disturbed should maybe find a lighter read.

The fact remains that Krall has, with great skill, looked through the eyes of one of the worst people on the planet, and the result is gripping. Apparently this is the first of three such books set in Sydney (Krall calls it a Sydney triptych). Given her ability to write a psychological thriller, and the enjoyable Sydney background, her readers may be in for a treat.

Long Pig

Gloria Piper

Gloria Piper’s Long Pig starts with a young girl being brought to what appears to be a monastic institution, high in the mountains. A devotee is assigned to care for her. Bit by bit their relationship develops. But there is something wrong here: this isn’t a conventional monastery or a nunnery – it’s a cult. And the girl is not there willingly. Moreover there is something about the place that makes the reader very uneasy. As it turns out, that’s not wrong. This is a cult with a vile, filthy secret. The way it is unveiled will send shivers down your spine.

Piper describes Long Pig as a fantasy novella, but it could also be called a short thriller. It is indeed short – most people will read it in one long sitting – but the length works. Piper allows the horror of the cult to become apparent at just the right pace, with a light touch, so that it never strikes a false or absurd note. If the book were longer, that might not be the case. The number of characters is right for the book, and they are well developed; the plot development is even and sustained; and we’re told what we need to know but nothing more. Moreover the description of the cult, which is a farm, and its surroundings is rich and evocative; there’s no excessive detail, but I felt I was really there. This book feels, for the most part, just right.

Long Pig is great entertainment, but it also raises questions about the nature of cults, how people end up in them, and the abuses that can be hidden within them. Not least of these is the doctrine of eternal life, which is an established part of more than one compassionate religion, but can also be wilfully misused by those who seek the power of life and death over others. Another is that people who look too hard for something in which to believe, and do not analyse it when it is presented to them, can be dreadfully open to abuse. The author provides a brief afterword in which she says that she was a child of the 1960s, which didn’t end well for everyone. “Social movements abounded… Some pushed causes… [others] jumped off the bridge of responsibility into the ocean of drugs… Many poured themselves out in metaphysical movements – New Age, Hari Krishna, Self-Realization, Christian Charismatic Movement, Satan worship… Many crashed and drowned. Yet many resurfaced, born again. I was no exception.”

  

None of this is raised explicitly in the book, which has a strong narrative pace. It’s first and foremost a good story. If I did have a beef with this book, it was the ending – right at the end, one or two things did strike a slightly false note. To explain why would introduce a spoiler to this review, and I don’t think reviewers should do that; in any case, not all readers will feel the same way. Also, readers should be aware that, in a few places, Long Pig is pretty gruesome. It’s not overdone, but like Krall’s book, reviewed above, it might not be suitable for the easily disturbed.

The fact remains that Long Pig is a little gem; a short, sharp tour de force that uses the novella, or short novel, form really well. Don’t read this if you’re too prone to nightmares. Do read it if you want a short but well-judged thriller that will keep you on the edge of your seat – and also, perhaps, raise broader questions about how people exercise power over each other and what the consequences can be.

Dark Matter Tiding 
Chance Maree

This is an unusual book. In some ways it’s flawed; it’s basically not one book but three, and not all of these strands integrate fully with each other or are tied up at the end of the book. Despite this, the book is more than worth reading, because of its originality, the quality of the writing and some very well-drawn, vivid characters.

Dark Matter Tiding opens in Washington DC sometime in the near future. Camera Hence, a drone engineer, is attending a presentation at which she will see some of her drones’ handiwork. It turns out that they’ve been used to take out a group of innocent Afghans who strayed too close to an oil pipeline. Sickened, she plans her own bloody revenge on her employers for the way in which they’ve used her creations. How she goes about this, and whether she succeeds, needn’t be stated here. (I hate spoilers in reviews.) Suffice to say that she winds up in hospital and being questioned by the FBI. At that point, she hears that her father has died, and that she must go to his ranch in Texas, where she must try to save the ranch from the misjudgments of her brother and the machinations of his awful girlfriend. This is the main subject of the rest of the book.

  

The book thus switches out of one plot and into another just 10% or so through the book, and Camera’s actions in Washington and their consequences are never fully resolved. Instead the author starts telling a completely different story, about a ranch in Texas. Meanwhile, in the background, there is the menace of Dark Matter, which is slowly enveloping the Earth and turning some people crazy and delusional. But the nature of the Dark Matter, and its ultimate meaning for humans, is also never really explained. As we still don’t know why some matter in the universe cannot be seen, the author could have had fun with this. The fact that she doesn’t is also unsatisfying. But mainly, it is never quite clear what the book is mainly about – Dark Matter, Camera’s revenge on her employers, or the saving of the ranch. 

But these flaws don’t spoil the book, because Chance Maree writes really well. When Camera arrives in Texas, the ranch, its surroundings and its history are very nicely described. Better still, some of Maree’s characters really leap off the page. Camera’s feckless brother, Nathan, and her equally useless mother are vivid and believable creations. Nathan’s appalling girlfriend, Kikko, is all too real – she could have descended into caricature, but Maree is too good a writer for that and makes her a genuine monster. There is also a great supporting cast of Texas lawyers, farmhands, petty crooks, film crews, FBI agents and cops, and even a bunch of young people deluded by Dark Matter into thinking they’re vampires.

Moreover, there is a fascinating thread that runs through the book, albeit too subtly sometimes: When something like Dark Matter is making everyone weird, how do you know you can trust your own judgment? It’s a question Camera has to confront at the end of the book, when she must make a grave moral decision – and must first decide whether she is still qualified to take it.

Had the book had a more unified theme, and had it not switched location and plotline so suddenly near the beginning, it would have worked better for me. Maree could have done more with the Dark Matter, too. But it’s still a striking book by an author with real flair and originality. Despite some reservations, I do recommend it, and I plan to read more of her work.

Claudia Must Die

T.B. Markinson

Claudia Must Die is a thriller, but quite an unusual one – part psychological thriller, part road movie, with a touch of bizarre comedy thrown in as well. And it does all sort of work. 

The Claudia of the title marries what she thinks is a prosperous local businessman, and finds that he’s a thoroughly nasty crime boss. Worse, he treats her as a virtual prisoner and is violent. So she takes off to far-away Boston, taking a lot of his money with her. But he’s hunting her down. Then she sees Parker, a woman identical to herself, in a coffee shop, and sees a way of getting him off the track: get his goons to kill her instead, then steal her identity. It nearly works. Trouble is, the goons miss Parker, and kill a third woman, who happens to be Parker’s lover. Worse still, the lover’s cousin is a master criminal himself. Now Claudia not only has her husband’s heavies after her, she has to flee him as well. Plus Parker. Who is, understandably, pissed.

There’s an obvious flaw here: Claudia tried to kill one innocent person, and did kill another – so do we care whether she herself gets killed or not? This could spoil the book. But it doesn’t, because the complex interactions between the characters create shades of grey. You grow increasingly attached to them – even to Claudia. Eventually they all set off on a surreal road trip across the US – and by then, I was hooked. 

Claudia Must Die pushes the reader’s limits a bit; there’s a lot going on and you need to pay attention to who’s trying to kill whom, and why. The characterization is also quite complex, and is important to the plot. It’s a technical challenge for the author, and now and then she does nearly lose it. In the last parts of the book, in particular, one or two things don’t work quite as well as they should. In the end, though, Markinson does hold everything together and brings the book to a satisfying conclusion. It helps that the book’s the length it needs to be, no more, no less – and each episode has the length and pace it needs, too. Claudia Must Die isn’t perfect. But it’s great fun, and if you like thrillers, it’ll keep you involved.

It’s also quite cinematic. If I were a screenwriter, I’d be looking back through this book scene by scene, and sucking my teeth thoughtfully. Anyone like to shoot some noir?

Tweet

See all Mike Robbins’s reviews here

Follow Mike Robbins on Twitter (mikerobbins19), on Facebook or on Goodreads

Mike Robbins’s latest book, Three Seasons: Three Stories of England in the Eighties, is available as an e-book or paperback from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Scribd and other online retailers, and can also be ordered from your local bookshop. Requests for review copies should be sent to thirdrailbooks (at) gmail.com, or to the author.